Redneck Sex

A week after their marriage, the redneck newlyweds, Ed and Arlene, paid a visit to their doctor.

"You ain't gonna believe this, Doc," said the husband. "My thingy's turnin' blue."

"That's pretty unusual," said the doctor. "Let me examine you." The doctor takes a look. Sure enough, the redneck's "thingy" really was blue.

The doctor turns to the wife, "Are you using the diaphragm that I prescribed for you?"

"Yep, shore am," she replied brightly.

"And what kind of jelly are you using with it?"

"Grape", she said.

New Blog!

My mom and I have started a new blog for our business venture. I hope that you will check it out and leave us some feedback. The address is: http://cloudberrycreations.blogspot.com . Hope to see you there!

Friday's Blessings

It's Friday again so it's time for my blessings for the week. This week has been a pretty "blah" week for me...Nothing all that interesting has happened around here. Let's see if I can find some blessings in all the "blahness" that has been my week.

I got last Saturday off for my birthday....It pretty much snowed all day so we stayed home, had some t-bone steaks for dinner, ate some birthday cake and watched some Gone with the Wind. Pretty relaxing birthday....Loved it.

Sunday and Monday were pretty "blah"....the only upside to Monday was I ended up going to our offsite warehouse at work....which I actually like doing....Some people HATE going to our warehouse....I on the other hand LOVE going to our warehouse.

Tuesday.....Didn't do much....Had a miserable headache so I went to bed early and got close to 13 hours of sleep. Yeah me!

Wednesday....My mom and I got started on our Business venture....Got a bunch of fabric and have about 7 apron's cut out....Will get pictures of the prototype posted just as soon as I find it again....Dang thing grew legs and walked away when I wanted to take it's picture.

Thursday....I got my stitches taken out....Literally took less than 3 minutes. Got some pretty serious uglyness going on where the stitches were though...Not real happy about that but I guess it could be worse right? Photo's coming soon. Got a lot of rain, which was supposed to freeze and make things really interesting around here, I'm hoping I can actually get things done tomorrow.

Friday....Bidding on some vintage apron patterns on ebay....I hope I win at least one of the 2 that I'm bidding on. That would be AWESOME! Don't really have much planned for today...Going to do some laundry, hopefully win at least one pattern, maybe do some sewing, and whatever else may trip my fancy today. I don't work tonight so I've got alot of time on my hands today to pretty much anything I want. That makes me happy!

The stitches come out!

My EVIL stitches in my leg come out today! I can hardly wait! I bet it will be one funky looking scar!

My mom and I are starting a new little "business" venture. We're sewing up a bunch of Apron's (Adult and Child size), pot holders, hot mitts, tote bags and possibly some more fun stuff like that to sell at not only Little Norway (in the gift shop and on the webpage) and maybe even here in bloggy/internet land. We've got the prototype apron almost done...Just have to put the ties on it. I'll post a picture of it later this afternoon.

Less than 2 weeks!

We're less than 2 weeks away from my first ever blog giveaway! I can hardly wait! I've seen them done all over bloggy land but I've never done one myself. So it'll be a learning experience for me.

Now I'm going to ask for some advice from all my bloggy friends. I've been having a boat load of problems at work. One of our ETL's (Executive Team Lead, AKA My boss) has been causing a lot of problems. Basically, if your some one who has an opinion and you voice it and it's not something she wants to hear/like she retaliates against you (we have a no retaliation policy). Those of us how have suffered because of this have had our hours drastically cut (I'm working only 2 days this next schedule) or have had other things come up as well. Basically, I'm considering transfering to another store, I don't want to leave the company all together because I have a lot of time put into it. There is a new store opening up soon in our area that I've seriously considered transfering too, so here are some pro's and con's and you tell me what you think I should do.

Pro's:

1. It's a new store with a Brand New team who have more than likely never done stocking before (I'm sure that there are some who have but I'll bet the majority haven't) and I have almost 3 years experience.
2. It'll be during the day (4 am unload) so I'll actually get to see the sun again...I haven't seen much sun in almost 3 years.
3. I more than likely will get the hours I need to actually be able to pay my bills and have a little money left over.
4. I might actually get to go to family functions again (I've been to 3 events in the last 3 years that I've worked overnights).

Con's:

1. It'll be further for me to drive to work.
2. I'll be the low man on the totem pole again.
3. I may have to give up my 4 day work week (I work 4 10 hour shifts right now).
4. I'd have to learn a new store's routine.
5. What if there aren't any stores who want me?

What would you do if you were me?

Twilight!

Guess what?!?!?!?! Twilight is being released on DVD on March 21, 2009! I can hardly wait! I never did see it in the theater....being without a reliable mode of transportation most of the winter and all. I read the whole series in a little over 2 weeks (unfortuante things like work, eating, sleeping, etc. took away from my reading time.) and I LOVED it! Guess who's going to be investing in her own personal copy?!

P.S. Click on either of the pictures to go to Amazon to pre-order your 2-disc Special edition.

Bathing Ms. Laci

Last Tuesday morning when I got home I decided that it was bath day for Ms. Laci. Ms. Laci had been needing a bath for a little while now and I just went ahead and gave her one. Needless to say, she wasn't my biggest fan for awhile.

This turns into this......

Angry and pissed....Can't even look at me...Oh but then you add this.....

And you get some more of this.....

Angry and pissed off and not looking at me...."But you'll smell sooo good Laci"....

"See....It's Pomegranate Passion...AND as an added bonus it'll help with your shedding"......

Nope...Still angry and pissed off...."But Laci, we're rinsing it all out now, we're just about done!"

"Did you say RINSE?! This Chinese Water Torture is almost over?!"

"Yup, it's almost over...Now hold still so I can lift you out of the tub!"

Angry and pissed off Cocker Spaniel with her own towel turns into....Extremely happy and fluffy/wavy Cocker Spaniel when the towel doesn't completely do the job and you have to bring out the "big guns".......

WOOOT!

"Oh, that feels good!"

Check out those wave's y'all!....Oh what's this?!

NEW BLING!!!!

It's my Birthday so I'll bitch if I want too.

NOTE: This has been an ongoing struggle for me and I'm not out to upset anyone, just getting some "stuff" off my chest.

I have this little thing about blogging that irks me big time. When I go to someone's blog and leave a nice comment on a post or multiple posts and I don't even hear a "hey thanks for dropping by." from them. I visited a whole bunch of new blogs yesterday and of the one's that I visited only 1 person commented back, who has been added to my blogroll and I hope they come back to visit. I'm hoping that I do hear something back from the others also because I realize that people are busy, etc. but it's just a little bit disheartening to go and leave comments on blogs and not hear anything back. It almost feels like I've been blown off in a way. Does this bother anyone else or is it just me? I'm done bitching for now.

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Later tonight....Bathing Ms. Laci....Complete with pictures.

Blessings, bloggy business and randomness oh my!

Ok, this post is going to be one long post of blessings, random acts of kindness, bloggy business and whatever else I think of as I'm writing this. So lets begin....Blessing wise, it hasn't been that great of a week for me. It's inventory week at work (actually it's going down as I'm typing this) and everyone has been a bit snippy the last couple days. Needless to say I was super happy when Monday night came around....I don't work on Tuesday's, Wednesday's or Thursday's. Less stress for me. I got the test results back from my biopsy last week....BENIGN CYST! Nothing to worry about anymore! Tomorrow is my 25th birthday....That and I have the night off!

Bloggy business....On the bottom of my blog (I couldn't get it to fit in the sidebar or on the top of the page) is a ticker to let everyone know how many days until my first blog giveaway. It actually is in conjunction with SITS Spring Fling but anyone can win. Also, on the bloggy front....I will once again be trimming down my link list, so if you would like to remain or be added to my list either drop me an e-mail at jamiehanna84@gmail.com or leave me a comment please.

In April, cause that's when my next doctor's appointment is, I will hopefully be on the road to weight loss. I've been trying and have tried numerous times to shed some unwanted weight and I've crashed and burned everytime. Hopefully, with the help of my doctor I will be successful this time.

Oh, pictures of Ms. Laci's bath coming probably tomorrow night....I'll have a little more time and I won't have any contention for the computer.

On to random acts of kindness....I found this on Yahoo and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did....It's good to know that there is still some good out there in the world amidst all the bad stuff going on.

Amid the grieving, a rare act of sportsmanship

The coach never considered any other option.

It didn't matter that his DeKalb, Ill., High School basketball team had ridden a bus two and a half hours to get to Milwaukee, then waited another hour past game time to play. Didn't matter that the game was close, or that this was a chance to beat a big city team.

Something else was on Dave Rohlman's mind when he asked for a volunteer to shoot two free throws awarded his team on a technical foul in the second quarter. His senior captain raised his hand, ready to go to the line as he had many times before.

Only this time it was different.

"You realize you're going to miss them, don't you?" Rohlman said.

Darius McNeal nodded his head. He understood what had to be done.

It was a Saturday night in February, and the Barbs were playing a non-conference game on the road against Milwaukee Madison. It was the third meeting between the two schools, who were developing a friendly rivalry that spanned two states.

The teams planned to get together after the game and share some pizzas and soda. But the game itself almost never took place.

Hours earlier, the mother of Milwaukee Madison senior captain Johntel Franklin died at a local hospital. Carlitha Franklin had been in remission after a five-year fight with cervical cancer, but she began to hemorrhage that morning while Johntel was taking his college ACT exam.

Her son and several of his teammates were at the hospital late that afternoon when the decision was made to turn off the life-support system. Carlitha Franklin was just 39.

"She was young and they were real close," said Milwaukee coach Aaron Womack Jr., who was at the hospital. "He was very distraught and it happened so suddenly he didn't have time to grieve."

Womack was going to cancel the game, but Franklin told him he wanted the team to play. And play they did, even though the game started late and Milwaukee Madison dressed only eight players.

Early in the second quarter, Womack saw someone out of the corner of his eye. It was Franklin, who came there directly from the hospital to root his teammates on.

The Knights had possession, so Womack called a time out. His players went over and hugged their grieving teammate. Fans came out of the stands to do the same.

"We got back to playing the game and I asked if he wanted to come and sit on the bench," Womack said during a telephone interview.

"No," Franklin replied. "I want to play."

There was just one problem. Since Franklin wasn't on the pre-game roster, putting him in meant drawing a technical foul that would give DeKalb two free throws.

Though it was a tight game, Womack was willing to give up the two points. It was more important to help his senior guard and co-captain deal with his grief by playing.

Over on the other bench, though, Rohlman wasn't so willing to take them. He told the referees to forget the technical and just let Franklin play.

"I could hear them arguing for five to seven minutes, saying, `We're not taking it, we're not taking it," Womack said. "The refs told them, no, that's the rule. You have to take them."

That's when Rohlman asked for volunteers, and McNeal's hand went up.

He went alone to the free throw line, dribbled the ball a couple of times, and looked at the rim.
His first attempt went about two feet, bouncing a couple of times as it rolled toward the end line. The second barely left his hand.

It didn't take long for the Milwaukee players to figure out what was going on.

They stood and turned toward the DeKalb bench and started applauding the gesture of sportsmanship. Soon, so did everybody in the stands.

"I did it for the guy who lost his mom," McNeal told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. "It was the right thing to do."

Franklin would go on to score 10 points, and Milwaukee Madison broke open the game in the second half to win 62-47. Afterward, the teams went out for pizza, two players from each team sharing each pie.

Franklin stopped by briefly, thankful that his team was there for him.

"I got kind of emotional but it helped a lot just to play," he said. "I felt like I had a lot of support out there."

Carlitha Franklin's funeral was last Friday, and the school turned out for her and her son. Cheerleaders came in uniform, and everyone from the principal and teachers to Johntel's classmates were there.

"Even the cooks from school showed up," Womack said. "It lets you know what kind of kid he is."
Basketball is a second sport for the 18-year-old Franklin, who says he has had some scholarship nibbles and plans to play football in college. He just has a few games left for the Knights, who are 6-11 and got beat 71-36 Tuesday night by Milwaukee Hamilton.

It hasn't been the greatest season for the team, but they have stuck together through a lot of adversity.

"We maybe don't have the best basketball players in the world but they go to class and take care of business," Womack said. "We have a losing record but there's life lessons going on, good ones."
None so good, though, as the moment a team and a player decided there were more important things than winning and having good stats.

Yes, DeKalb would go home with a loss. But it was a trip they'll never forget.

"This is something our kids will hold for a lifetime," Rohlman said. "They may not remember our record 20 years from now, but they'll remember what happened in that gym that night."

Window Shopping ~ Cowgirl Style

It's been awhile since I've done a window shopping post so on a random search of the internet I found some more items to share with y'all. I hope that you enjoy them. I found pretty much all of these sites on 2 Friends Funky Cowgirl Jewlery Clothing and Primitive Folk Art Shopping. (Oh, please click on the photo of the item if by chance you do find something that you too need to take you directly to the page where you can order it.)

This t-shirt is from Rieger Ranch Boutique. $32

Here's another one from Rieger Ranch Boutique. $35

This is from Back at the Ranch. $23

This tank is from Ranch Glam. And yes it does really say....I feel a sin comin' on. $28.00

This one is also from Ranch Glam. This shirt says.....Mess With Me, Mess With The Whole Trailer Park. $34

Yet another one from Ranch Glam. $28.00 (Also comes in Turqouise)

This pendant is from Wild Hearted Cowgirls.

Another one from Wild Hearted Cowgirls. $32.00

This one is from The Tiara Fits. The shirt says this: Here's To Good Women, May We Know Them, May We Raise Them, May We Be Them! $36.00

Check this out!

I have been in the process of growing my hair out for a little over a year now. When I started it was REALLY short...I unfortuantely could not find a picture of myself with my super short hair....so without further adue I give you Alyssa Milano with super short hair.I took some pictures this morning of my progress so far....Check these out!

It's about jaw length now but it's still driving me crazy because it's in that stage where you can only do so much with it.

This is how my hair is usually "done" a little pony tail near the top of my head or in a headband.

Check out how long thos bangs are! Lip level y'all!

These are my Stitches - Caution: Naughty word

This is the original bandage.

These are the actual stitches themselves. There are 3 of them. This photo was taken before the bandages that I used to cover them up irritated the FUCK out of my skin.

Oh and here is the band aid before the skin irritating started.

Ms. Laci gets a bath!

Today is the day that our dog is going to hate me FOREVER! She's getting a bath and then she's going to get her pretty pink spiked collar put on....Pictures to come later.

How PBR bucking bull Chicken on a Chain got his name

Jeff Robinson tells the story best:

"Well, he was raised in North Georgia, where, at that point in time, seven to eight years ago, there were lots of people who had fighting roosters… anyway, there's all kinds of people that raise these fighting roosters, and they'll have them in their backyard or whatever, and they'll have them staked out. They'll have a little chain around their leg and stake those chickens out in a little pen. And he got out and got one of those roosters caught on his leg, so he drug this chicken around the yard for three or four days before they caught him."

And on that day, the legend was born: Chicken on a Chain.

NOTE: "Chicken" had jumped the fence and was trying to fly the coop.

It snowed!

It snowed here again...I don't know about anyone else but I'm ready for winter to be over. Even my dog hates it and she hates very few things. For the record -50 degree weather is NOT my cup of tea. It's supposed to be a scorching 29 degrees today but it will only feel like about 18 degrees according to the weather man.

Stitches SUCK! And my leg still hurts! I can only imagine what it's going to feel like in 2 weeks when they come out! Thanks for all the kind words about my mass....Here's hoping there is nothing to worry about....Got everything you can cross crossed.

It's Valentine's day! Happy Valentine's day everybody!

Blessings!

We're on a role....Two weeks in a row I've had a blessings post! Yeah me! Go me! 8 days until my 25th birthday! It's been a pretty stress free week this week around the homefront. I was actually blessed with a 4 day "weekend" instead of my usual 3 day "weekend" so I got a whole lot of nothing accomplished and it felt great actually.

I finally got my car fixed. It feels really good being able to actually go places instead of sitting at home all the time. I guess sitting at home isn't exactly the worst thing in the whole wide world...It's saving me money but still it's nice to be able to go if I need to go. The only downside to getting my car fixed really is that I spent my whole tax return on it....I had other plans for some of that money but I guess having reliable transportation is a good thing too.

The weather has been pretty decent around here this week so Ms. Laci and I have been out for at least 1 walk a day all week. When we had a really miserable cold stretch the poor thing actually developed Cabin Fever. I didn't now that dogs could get cabin fever but apparently they can. So now the weather has been decent and we've been out walking and Ms. Laci is a super happy dog right now.

I got a small mass that I thought was a bug bite removed from my leg yesterday. The doctor is pretty sure that it's nothing to worry about but I should hear something back in a week or so. With the removal of that mass I acquired 3 stitches. Lets just say that I've been had on that little adventure....I was told that they wouldn't hurt or bother me once the leg un-numbed. Won't hurt or bother me my ass. We're going on almost 24 hours of hurt and bothering me. The nurse was less than helpful in the care of my stitches also...Basically all I gleaned from her talking at 6000 miles an hour was: keep them clean, keep them dry, keep them covered and use vaseline on them. To be honest I'm not really sure where the blessing is in this paragraph but I'm just relieved that whatever it is that was in my leg is now out of my leg.

Rubber Gloves

Note: My blessings will be up later this morning. What do you think of the new look?

Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile when you think of this:

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked.
'No, I don't,' she replied.
'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.'
She didn't crack a smile.
'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.
'What's so funny?' he asked
'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'

My random question for the day

Do any of the dog owners out there feed there dog(s) Solid Gold brand dog food or know anyone who has? We just switched Laci to it and are looking for some feedback from others on the brand.

P.S. Does anyone out there know how to take care of medical stitches?....I had a small "mass" removed from my right leg this morning and now I have 3 stitches that I need to take care of for two weeks and I have no idea what I'm doing. They did tell me how to take care of them but I do much better with written information, that and they told me at about 6000 miles an hour and about all I caught was "come back in two weeks to get them taken out."

Two Brazilian Dead

A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says 'Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident..'The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing 'That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!'Confused, he says, 'Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.'After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, 'How many is a Brazilian? '

Shutting Detroit Down

Finally, a song about the current state of our economy!

It's getting FIXED!

My car is finally going to get fixed! I'm super excited about this...Pretty soon I'll be able to actually go places on my days off!

Wet dog

I took the dog for a walk this morning because it's actually kinda nice here in Wisconsin today...Supposed to be close to 50 I heard on the way home from work. And now all I smell is wet dog because the snow has been melting and the sidewalks are all wet and puddley (oh yeah, I just made up a word....GO ME!).

PEACE OUT!

Important Stimulus Information

Important info on the Stimulus Payment

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up. Some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China. If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer it will go to India. If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic). If you buy a car it will go to Japan. If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.
And none of it will help the American economy. We need to keep that money in America . You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on domestic beer, hookers or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

Blessings!

I haven't done them in a while because I've been having trouble finding the blessings in certain things that have happened in my life. But now they are back! Here is what I'm thankful for this week:

On Monday my BFF Ashley told me that she's moving to Texas this summer. At first I was NOT happy about the situation at all. I looked at it as just another thing that's gone wrong in my life. Now that I've had a few days to think about it I'm happy for her. She's always been giving of herself to everybody else and has put herself on hold for so long, she actually kinda deserves this. She actually thinks she's being selfish doing something for herself. I'm still not happy about all the distance that's going to be between her and I but I'm hoping to be able to go down and visit a whole bunch. Apparently, she'll only be a couple miles from the beach (Corpus Cristi - I hope I spelled that right - area).

So, with Ashley moving to Texas our girl vacation to Idaho is now off. But I guess that's an ok thing too. I was looking forward to going but sometimes things just don't work out and you just can't go.

I'm glad that I have a job to go to and have friends there that are going through some of the same things that I am right now (needless to say things aren't going great right now but I'm not the only one that they aren't going great for). I could sit here and bitch about all the things that are not good about my job but frankly, I'm just glad to have a job. There are plenty of people out there in this country that don't and I think things are only going to get worse before they can get better.

Well, I think I've covered pretty much everything for this week.

Of epilepsy, beef and "Girl" vacations?!

Yesterday we went and pick up the 1/2 a beef that we ordered from my uncle. 457 pounds of beef later we have 3 full freezers and at least 60 pounds of ground beef from last years steer that didn't fit. I see A LOT of Hamburger helper in our future we have that much ground beef. Did you know that there is actually a cut of beef called the Arm Roast? I didn't until yesterday.

Yesterday our dog was diagnosed with epilepsy. As of Wednesday morning she had had two seizures in the past three days. Now she's part of a study on a new seizure drug that has been proven effective in Europe and some company is trying to get it FDA approved in the US. Dang dog had a seizure Sunday night right after James Harrison intercepted the ball and ran it back for 100 yards...My mom thought the dog was going to kick the bucket and my dad just thought that she was interupting the game.

I realize that there is still 5 days left to vote on my poll of weather or not I should go on a "Girl" vacation but so far it looks like it's a resounding Hell Yeah! You've got 5 days to get your vote in ladies and gents.

Hearts for Tuesday

On my blog group The Secret is in the Sauce we were all introduced to Tuesday who is a little girl who has been fighting cancer, via her families blog. On January 30, Tuesday lost her battle with cancer. One of my SITSahs Tamara is doing something really AWESOME for Tuesday's family. Since Tamara lives in the same state as Tuesday's family she is planning on attending the service for Tuesday this weekend. If you click on the word Tamara you will go directly to the post which she explains her plan. She would love to collect words/prayers/thoughts from those in Bloggyland to put on little red hearts to present to the family at the service. If you wold like to participate please click on the button at the top of this post or on the word Tamara in this post.

BITRCountryGirl

Another "bomb" dropped

Yesterday my friend and traveling partner Ashley dropped a super huge bomb on me....She's planning on moving to Texas this summer. I have no idea what I'm going to do without her if she does move all that way.

Don't forget to vote on my poll in the sidebar....I soooo want your input on this subject matter.

Mamarazzi's Favorite Things Swap!!

Mamarazzi is doing another one of her famous "Favorite Things Swaps." Personally, I can hardly wait to see what's in my box! The rules are pretty straight forward....Yes there are rules (several past participants have been on the recieving end of not so nice packages).So if you are looking for some extra fun mail please consider this swap.

On a personal note: I've only done one other swap and had great results, (LOVE the shawl Betty!) but to those who have not been so nice to their swap partners....Shame on you!

BITRCountryGirl

An update on my Girl vacation

I blogged a little while ago about my Girl vacation to Idaho with my good friend Ashley. Well, unfortuantely the vacation has been put on hold. With all the things that have gone recently and this dang thing called "real life" it's just been a royal pain in the ass to me and I just can't afford to go all that way right now. But the upside is that though I may not be going to Idaho, I still have vacation during that time and I'm hoping that we can come up with something to do close to home, still have some fun but of course not as much fun as if we were in Nampa, Idaho sipping Bud Light, watching cowboys bend over to pick up their bullropes.

I must go now, it's actually really upsetting me that I'm not able to go on this trip and if I don't stop talking about it I may just sit right down and cry.

BITRCountryGirl